It's You (And No One Else)
by arose3218
Summary: Castiel helps the Winchesters deal with the aftermath of the falling angels, and learns a few things about being human.
1. I'll Keep You Safe

Dean jumped, woken up, when he felt the vibration of his phone in his pocket. Not one to usually ignore a call, even this early in the morning, he barely glanced at the caller I.d. before answering.  
"Yeah," he said, plain and simple as that.  
"Dean," said the gruff voice he knew so well.  
"Cas?" he said in surprise. "Where are you? Are you hurt? What's going on?"  
"I'm...fine," said Castiel, "but I have a confession to make."  
"Well go on, spit it out; do you know what time it is? I've told you before not to call when I need some sleep."  
"Dean," he said, firmly, "this is important."  
Dean wondered what could possibly be so important that Cas would call him in the middle of the night. Instantly, he perked up and forced himself to get out of bed. After all, Cas could be in danger...or worse.  
"Alright, I'm listening."  
"I've lost my grace," said Castiel, "and I've created a terrible mess."  
Dean was reminded of the post-apocalyptic version of the future he had been shown by Zachariah once. Castiel being human had been just one of the many elements in the tragedy he'd forced himself to prevent by saying yes to Michael and becoming a vessel. Brief bits of the conversation he'd had with that Castiel came back to him.  
("So you're human," he'd said. "Yes," the future Castiel had replied. "Welcome to the club," had been Dean's snide remark to this.)  
"Where are you?" he asked, assuming the protective older brotherly tone he'd used with Sam for years. "I'm going to come and get you, and then you're going to tell me everything, alright?"

Dean drove around in the Impala. He was sure that he was near the place where Cas had said he'd be, although it looked unfamiliar.  
Suddenly, waiting by the side of the road was a familiar figure. He looked a little dirty and his clothing was a bit rumpled but it was still him; it was still Cas. Dean didn't know whether to go up to him and hug him like that one time in Purgatory or yell at him until he was hoarse. Instead he pulled over near the spot where Castiel was sitting.  
In that instant Cas looked up, an expression of clear relief on his face.  
"You came," he said, as if he hadn't actually expected Dean to come.  
"Of course I did," said Dean, "what did you think; that I was just going to let you die out here, all alone? Now hurry up and get in the car, before I change my mind."  
Cas walked over to the Impala and opened the front passenger door. The expression on his face was one of gratitude, although Dean pretended not to notice. Now was not the time for him to be dealing with his rather complicated feelings towards the former angel with which he still had a profound bond in spite of everything they had been through together.  
Finally, after a couple minutes of awkward silence, Dean risked a look at his companion. He seemed to be the same as always, on the outside, just as he had been the last time he had become a human. Except this time his face didn't have that sullen, downcast look, the way it had had before. If he wasn't mistaken, for the first time Dean thought he saw what seemed like hope in Castiel's bright blue eyes.  
In that instant, Castiel unconsciously held a hand over his stomach, and grimaced slightly.  
"Are you alright, Cas?" asked Dean, careful to keep his tone neutral. It was better if Castiel was kept unaware of his feelings...for now.  
"I feel strangely hollow inside," admitted Castiel, "it's very uncomfortable."  
Dean smiled in spite of himself. Just like before, it would take some time for him to get used to Castiel being human. "It means you're hungry," he explained. "Lucky for you there's a restaurant nearby. We'll talk in there."  
It was just his luck that as he said this they passed a large blue sign indicating several restaurants ahead. Minutes later, Dean pulled into the dimly lit parking lot of a 24-hour restaurant. When he and Castiel got out of the car he turned to the former angel and said, "Now let's get you something to eat."  
Cas nodded agreeably and they went inside the restaurant. Out of habit Dean looked around suspiciously at the few customers who were already seated; he couldn't be too careful, in case any of them turned out to be demons. As if sensing his angst, Castiel put a hand on Dean's shoulder. The gesture was most likely meant to be reassuring but it still made him tense up slightly.  
They sat down at a booth, taking seats that were across from each other. Dean reached over and handed Castiel one of the two menus that had been placed at the table beforehand.  
"Go ahead, pick anything you want. This one's on me," he said.  
Castiel glanced over the menu for a few minutes, a contemplative look on his face. Then he looked up at Dean, whose gaze was surprisingly calm and almost happy for once.  
"Well?" he said, "Did you decide what you want to order yet?"  
"Yes," said Castiel, "I think I'll have the pie."  
Dean looked at him in surprise. He knew very well that Cas loved hamburgers, not pie. It was an unusual request, especially since Dean was the one who loved pie. He shrugged, trying not to seem as confused as he felt.  
"Alright," he said, "if that's what you want."  
"I want it," insisted Castiel, "because I know it's your favorite food."  
Dean was surprised and a bit touched that Cas had noticed something so trivial about him. He thought he could immediately see what his companion was trying to do.  
"You don't have to do this, Cas," he said in an attempt to be convincing.  
"And you don't have to provide for my meals but you are," pointed out Castiel, "I was simply trying to return the favor."  
Dean glanced at him, a look of appreciation on his face. Castiel doubted that the look would stay once Dean knew of the terrible thing he'd caused.  
They sat in silence until their food came. It was only then when, a thin slice of pie in front of him, Dean decided to channel his inner fake FBI agent, the persona he and Sam had both adopted when investigating a case of the supernatural so as not to raise suspicion.  
"So tell me something about this situation you've gotten yourself into," he said invitingly. Being able to interrogate someone was just one of the many things of which he'd have to show Cas the ropes if he was going to stick around with the Winchester brothers, in his current human state.  
"Well, it's simple," said Cas, around a mouthful of pie, "Metatron removed my grace, and now...I am human."  
Dean shook his head. "I can see that," he said, " I was talking about the...mess you said you created."  
Instantly, Castiel's face fell. He knew that Dean would not be happy to hear the news that he had possibly betrayed him and Sam, yet again. They were the only friends he'd made so far, and he knew that he would be lost without them. He did his best to look anywhere but at Dean, as if doing so would help him avoid the inevitable truth.  
"Cas," said Dean, an unspoken warning in his voice, "I know that look. What happened?"  
Castiel sighed and forced himself to look into Dean's green eyes.  
"You have to promise you won't be mad," he said, tentatively.  
Dean looked worried. "It's that bad, huh?"  
Cas nodded, not trusting himself to speak.  
"Well, alright then, I'll try."  
"I...managed to open the gates of heaven," said Castiel, cautiously, "and in the process many of my brothers and sisters suffered tremendously."  
Dean's eyes widened in understanding. "Oh...so all those angels falling; that was you?"  
"I'm not proud of what I've done," said Castiel, "and I'm not sure if this is something that can be undone with angel "mojo", as you call it. If I knew a way to fix this, I would. But I'm afraid...until I find a way, I will not be in their favor for causing all this damage."  
Dean looked at him sympathetically, and placed a hand over his from across the table.  
"Look, don't worry. You're part of Team Free Will now, and Sammy and I will make sure nothing bad happens to you, alright? If anyone tries to lay a finger on you, I'll keep you safe."  
Castiel smiled. This was unlike Dean, going out of his way to protect someone other than his brother. He only did so for those he truly cared about, or so Castiel had observed in his time with the Winchester brothers.  
"Thank you, Dean," he said, gratefully.  
Dean nodded, careful to keep his expression neutral. He meant every word he said, and he was determined to prove this to Castiel. Letting him know this was the best, and safest, way of saying how he truly felt, for now. But he was also afraid that, like almost everyone else who he had let himself care about before, if he ever actually told Castiel how he felt, Cas would eventually be torn from him too.


	2. I Can See Into Your Soul

Castiel needed sleep, now that he was a human again. At least that was what Dean had told him earlier. Yet for some reason he didn't feel in the least bit tired.  
It had been only yesterday that Dean had come to him in the Impala, and Sam had been surprised-if slightly less accepting of Castiel's story than Dean-to see Castiel. The positions in their relationship had been reversed; for once, Dean had been the one coming when Castiel called instead of the other way around. He had felt the change; there was something different about Dean, although he couldn't quite place it. Human emotion was still a new and very much foreign concept to him. It had been keeping Castiel up all night, pondering over this side of Dean that he had somehow failed to notice before.  
"Cas, is that you?" said a familiar deep voice that was somewhat laced with sleep.  
Castiel turned around to see the very person who had just been occupying his thoughts.  
"Yes, it's me, Dean," he said, aware of the lack of sleep which no doubt showed in his voice.  
Dean walked over to the sofa where Cas was sitting and sat down next to him.  
"You can't sleep either?"  
"My thoughts are preventing my body from fulfilling its natural requirements," Cas explained.  
"Yeah? I know what that's like." Dean gave him a look of understanding. "Want to talk about it? Maybe that will help."  
Castiel thought about refusing Dean's offer. After all, he knew that Dean didn't like to talk about feelings, least of all his own. But, he mused, it would do the hunter good to do this once in awhile.  
"Someone I know has feelings that confuse me," he admitted.  
Cas thought he heard Dean sigh. He had known that this might be the hunter's reaction.  
"So, you want to talk about feelings, is that it?" Dean asked. " Is someone sending you mixed signals? Who's the lucky girl?"  
Castiel shook his head. He hadn't understood exactly what Dean was asking but he had gotten the gist of it. "No, Dean," he said, being blunt as always, "it's you."  
"Me?" Dean asked. "You're confused about my feelings? Why?"  
It was more complicated than that. Castiel could sense that there was something that Dean wasn't telling him. Whenever he looked into Dean's eyes, as he did now, he saw everything that made Dean who he was. He saw the pain Dean felt from having lost so many loved ones, the anger and rage that was usually saved for battling supernatural creatures, and the protectiveness that Dean felt towards Sam, left over from when they had been children. But there was something else...something that Dean Winchester was hiding, or else it was something that he'd refused to completely acknowledge just yet.  
Cas was distracted from Dean's gaze when he suddenly said,  
"Cas? Are you alright? You've been staring at me for a long time, even for you."  
Castiel blinked and then looked away for a second before looking back at Dean.  
"I can see into your soul," he said, "and I see how troubled you've become."  
At this a pained look passed over Dean's face, as if he knew exactly what Cas was talking about. A single tear rolled down his cheek, barely noticeable. Castiel wanted badly to reach over and wipe it away but forced himself not to. He didn't want to invade Dean's personal space, as he had done so many times before without realizing.  
"You noticed," said Dean, choking back a sob. "I try to keep it from everyone, I try not to think about it, but you...you actually noticed. Thank you."  
Carefully, gently, Castiel reached out a hand and placed it on Dean's arm in an attempt to be comforting. He looked at the hunter as if seeking confirmation.  
"Is this...okay?" he asked, hesitantly.  
Dean glanced at Castiel's hand on his shoulder-in the same place where he still had the remnants of the burn mark from when Castiel had first rescued him from hell-in confusion.  
"What do you mean?" he asked.  
"This doesn't count as...personal space, does it?"  
"No, Cas," said Dean, "this is okay." A small smile formed on his lips, and he rested his head against Castiel's shoulder. Castiel counted this as one more step towards success in understanding humans, and, most importantly, Dean.


	3. I Can't Do This On My Own

It had felt good to Dean, being able to let himself go like that last night, if only for a little while. But now Team Free Will had more pressing concerns to deal with, namely the legion of angels that had fallen from the sky. The trio had decided to track down any of the fallen angels they could find, seeking answers about how to restore the angels to their rightful place and close the gates of heaven.

Sam and Dean sat down across from each other at the small table, debating their next move, as they had done many times before when preparing to hunt supernatural beings. This time, Castiel lingered nearby, sitting on the couch and listening to their conversation.

"I've got it," said Sam eagerly, "there's something we can try. It's going to take some time, but I know there's a spell we can use to find angels on earth. And we have just what we need for it too. We need an angel who's lost their grace." He looked pointedly at Castiel, who fixed his gaze off somewhere in the distance in embarrassment.

"I'm afraid I won't be of any use," said Castiel, sadly, "my abilities as a human are greatly reduced from my abilities as an angel."

"You're still just as important as you were before," reassured Dean, "and you can still help us. It's just that you're different now." He turned back to his brother, trying to hide his bashful look with a more serious, skeptical one. "What's the catch, Sam?" he asked. "There's always a catch with this kind of thing."

Sam pawed through the book in front of him, and then stopped when he saw that he was at the right page. "There's no catch, Dean," he said, "but it does say here that there's one other thing we need to complete the spell first."

"Oh yeah? And what would that be?"

Sam stared at him from across the table. "We need someone who has the mark of an angel. We need you, Dean."

"The mark of an angel?" sputtered Dean, who was clearly confused. "What kind of nonsense-"

"I understand," put in Castiel, and turned to Dean before he could continue speaking. "In certain cases once a human has been touched by an angel, the human in question can be placed under the charge of the angel. A mark is left at the point of contact to seal the bond and make it permanent."

As if in answer, the handprint burned into Dean's shoulder that served as the only reminder he wanted to have of the months he'd spent in hell so long ago began to throb. In that instant, he understood.

"Cas," he said, "can I talk to you for a second?"

Sensing that his brother was in one of his moods, Sam got up and left the room, with the excuse of not feeling very well. This earned him several concerned looks from Dean, but Sam brushed it off and wished them luck, with a slight smirk on his face. Seconds later, when they were alone, Dean glared at Castiel.

"All this time and you never told me I'm bound to you for life?" he said, voice raised slightly. "I never asked for this, Cas."

"I never said you did," said Castiel defensively, "but Dean, please listen to me. It was the only way I could get you out; I didn't have a choice either. I'm sorry if you feel that way, I just...thought you'd feel differently about it."

"I don't mind that part," said Dean, "it's just that I wish you'd told me sooner. You know you don't have to keep any secrets from me."

Cas looked over at the open book on the table, which was right where Sam had left it. "Are you sure you want to do this, Dean?" asked Castiel.

Dean had a determined look in his eyes. "Yeah," he said, "now come on; help me out here, Cas. I can't do this on my own."

The ancient, foreign words of the spell rolled off of Dean's tongue easily as he read from the book in front of him. He stood with Cas in a room that they had deemed fit for the casting of the spell. In that moment, with Castiel by his side, Dean felt the familiar cocky confidence he felt whenever dealing with the supernatural. But this time he felt it even more strongly, as if their strange bond was somehow amplifying his feelings.

Suddenly, Cas let out a soft gasp before his eyes went wide and he crumpled to the ground, holding his head as strangled cries left his throat. Dean stopped mid-chant, glanced over at him worriedly and upon instinct moved closer and bent down to where the fallen angel lay. Castiel's eyes were becoming glassy, his face nearly frozen into a contorted mask of what seemed to be pain.

"Cas? Are you alright? Talk to me, buddy! No, no, I can't lose you..."

"Dean," said Castiel, his teeth clenched in pain, "it hurts...make it stop..."

Dean began to panic. "Cas? I...I'm so sorry..."

Castiel lay still for a moment, then another, then several more before his eyes fluttered closed. A bit shakily, Dean reached out towards the former angel, not wanting to believe that his worst fears had finally come true.

Finally, Cas opened his eyes again. Dean immediately beamed and reached his arm out towards Castiel. To his surprise, a strong hand gripped his arm tightly as Castiel sat up.

"Cas?" questioned Dean. "Did the spell work? What-"

"It did," said Castiel, "but...you're not going to like this, Dean."

Dean looked at Castiel curiously. "Why not? What are you talking about?" he asked.

"The angels...they're angry at me for what I've done. There's nothing more we can do."

"Are you sure?" asked Dean. "There has to be something..."

"There is one thing that I learned, though," said Cas, "my grace was the final element needed to open the gates of Heaven."

"So you're telling me that was why Metatron took it in the first place?" asked Dean.

"Yeah," said Castiel, firmly. "I learned it from the other angels."

Dean suddenly grew tired. He knew that that night, he and Sam would have to brush up on their research about the fallen angels and

how to send them all back to heaven, not to mention keep them there, where they belonged. Normally this wouldn't have bothered him, but Dean had realized that he would rather spend the night making sure that Castiel was okay after the trauma the spell must have caused him.


	4. There's No One Like You

Castiel looked up from Sam's laptop and smiled sweetly at Dean, who had been hovering nearby around the room.

"Dean," he said, "I forgot to tell you; our...date the other night at that restaurant was...very pleasant."

Dean looked up, startled. "What?" he said, "Where's this coming from?"

He glanced suspiciously at the how-to article on dating that was open on the laptop and then back at Castiel.

"The human concept of the mating ritual of dating interests me," explained Castiel, "and after the other night when you came to get me I began doing research on the subject."

Dean smiled sadly. Cas could be so naive sometimes.

"Cas, I'm sorry but that...that wasn't a date," he said, "not really."

Immediately, Castiel's face clouded over, a look of clear disappointment replacing the happy glow he had sported just seconds ago. "Oh," he said, dejectedly. He had been expecting Dean to be delighted; he had hoped that his newfound confusing, muddled human emotions would be reciprocated. "Then the information on this website is very misleading." With a frown Castiel closed the laptop and rested his head in his hands, his cheeks turning decidedly red.

Dean looked apologetic. " No," he said, "I didn't mean..." He shook his head when it seemed that Castiel wouldn't budge, but walked over to the former angel anyway and placed a hand tentatively on his arm. At this, Castiel's arms fell to his sides, exposing his still somewhat flushed face. He was still getting used to this wide range of ways in which humans expressed themselves, and Dean's sudden act had caught him off guard.

"There's a lot more to dating than just sitting down in restaurants or whatever that stupid article on the internet says," explained Dean, doing his best to be helpful.

Castiel glanced warily at Sam's laptop, which had all but been abandoned. He'd thought researching the subject of dating would do him good, what with his lack of experience in that area. On the other hand, he knew that Dean was practically an expert when it came to dating. And Cas trusted Dean, whose knowledge was much more valuable than that of a vague internet article.

"Will you, as the expression goes, show me the ropes?" he asked, proud to show off what little knowledge he had of human phrases.

Dean smiled. "Alright; if you really want to know about dating, you might as well learn it from me."

Castiel knew that Dean had dated a number of women in the time that they had known each other. While he had never exactly been Dean's confidant on the subject, Cas had heard Dean discuss the topic of women several times with Sam. More often than not he had considered what it would be like if it was him that Dean would talk about in that manner in place of the many female figures that drifted in and out of his life. But it had never occurred to him exactly how strong this curiosity was. His human emotions had been growing stronger with his grace now gone, and because of this his feelings towards Dean had been heightened, going far beyond the profound bond they shared that he had briefly described to Sam once.

"When do we start?" asked Cas eagerly.

"Whoa, hey there, let's not jump into it too fast," said Dean, "you'll actually end up scaring girls away if you do that, even though you...you're..."

Castiel looked at Dean questioningly. The hunter was clearly flustered about something, it seemed.

"Yes, Dean?" he said. "I'm what?"

"Never mind," said Dean, brushing it off, "just look at yourself in a mirror and you'll understand."

Castiel nodded, doing his best to look like he understood what Dean was trying to tell him. He made a mental note to take the hunter's advice and look into a mirror the first chance he got.

"Will that help me learn about dating?" he asked, curiously.

Dean gestured at Castiel vaguely. "Sure it will," he said, "you have to get to know yourself better before you start trying to get to know another person."

"But I know who I am already," said Castiel.

"That's good," said Dean, encouragingly, "you're on the right track, then."

"And...I think I already know the person who I want to date," Cas added, as if Dean hadn't spoken.

" I knew it," said Dean, "there's someone, some girl you're not telling me about. Well, who is it? Because I am completely, totally, one hundred percent okay with..."

Dean trailed off when Castiel stared pointedly at him. Suddenly, he knew what Castiel was trying to convey, although he hadn't seen this one coming. His suspicions were confirmed when Cas said,

"Dean, will you...will you go out with me?"

"Oh, no," he said, "no. Cas, I don't...you see...I'll gladly tell you anything you want to know about dating, but I'm drawing the line at this."

"But why not?" asked Castiel, "You have much more experience with this than I do, and I want to learn from the best. Besides, there's no one like you."

"I don't know, man," said Dean hesitantly, "I mean, I..."

Dean paused when he saw Cas's face tilt slightly upward, and realized that Cas was making the puppy eyes

that he tried so hard to resist. It was no wonder that they were made even more irresistible by the fact that Cas was human now. Dean didn't want to let him down, especially since he could already see Sam's bitchface forming at having to deal with a dejected Cas because of him and his refusal to acknowledge his-

Dean sighed, not wanting to continue the thought, and not liking where it had been going. He threw his hands up in defeat. "Oh alright, fine, but just this once. And I'm warning you, I don't have any experience with, you know...other guys...either."

Castiel's eyes brimmed with hope. "What...was that?" he asked, slyly, "What did you say?"

"Yes," said Dean, a bit exasperated, "I said yes, alright? I'll go on a date with you, Cas."

Castiel grinned, his expression one of triumph.

"Are we done here now?" asked Dean. He then turned away from Cas slightly and muttered, "What am I gonna tell Sam?"

"Don't worry," said Castiel, "I've...got that covered."

Dean nodded; he trusted Cas with this. "Alright," he said, "then why don't we start talking where and when? Let's get this over with."

Castiel was all too eager to talk about the specifics of their upcoming date.


	5. 5 It's The Color Of Your Eyes

Dean and Cas sat down in a wide open field, the Impala behind them and the clear blue afternoon sky in front of them. They were unofficially on their first date...or at least Castiel was considering it his first official date, no questions asked. There was no one he would rather have shared this particular experience with than Dean, even if the hunter was slightly reluctant to consider this a proper date. And the best part was, they were completely alone. True to his word, Cas had told Sam that he and Dean were conducting an unusual experiment, which they were, in a way. For now, it was just the two of them...and infinite possibilities.

Cas decided to put to use the little he'd learned about dating from his research, and from Dean. He looked around, trying to find something to talk about; anything at all would do. The first step to a successful date was to actually have a conversation, after all, and they had been sitting in silence for what seemed like hours.

Cas was unable to think of a witty remark, for once. He realized that now would be a good time to talk with Dean about the Impala, if anything; he knew that Dean always loved to talk about his Baby. But, the problem was, Cas knew almost nothing about cars. He looked around again, and decided to opt for the next best thing he could think of.

"So," said Castiel, "do you love the color of the sky?"

"Yeah," said Dean, absently, "it's the color of your eyes."

Castiel blinked. "That's...true," he said.

Dean nodded and slumped over slightly, seeming to be only halfway aware of what was going on around him.

"Are you unwell?" asked Cas, looking over at the hunter concernedly.

"No, no, I'm fine, I just...didn't get much sleep last night, that's all. Besides, this is a lot to take in. I never thought I'd be going on a date with an angel." He barked a laugh. "I mean, wow."

"You're forgetting one thing," put in Castiel, "technically, I'm not an angel anymore. Metatron most likely still has my grace...I hope."

"Right," said Dean, "but what difference does it make whether he does or not? You're still the same person you were before, and to be honest, Cas, I kind of like you better like this."

"You would prefer me as a powerless human over me with my grace?" Cas was incredulous. He had thought that Dean approved of the abilities that came with his angelic grace. He was much more useful that way when fighting demons and other monsters, after all.

Dean smiled. "I don't mind you either way," he admitted, "but what I meant was you seem much happier this time around as a human. What happened to you?"

Castiel gestured at himself. The physical changes he was undergoing as a human were obvious on the outside; among other things, he had traded in Jimmy Novak's trench coat and suit for an old outfit of Dean's.

"If I'm going to be a human again, I thought I might as well enjoy it this time," he explained.

Dean gave Cas a look of approval. "I second that," he said, "it's about time I enjoy myself, too, for once."

"Yeah," agreed Castiel, "you deserve it after everything you've been through."

At this Dean smiled, touched by the former angel's words. Until Cas said it, he hadn't realized how much he needed to hear something like that. He wished there was some way he could repay him...and then he remembered that there was.

"Oh," he said, "I almost forgot."

He got up and went around to the trunk of the Impala. Castiel immediately turned around and followed him with his eyes.

"Dean," he said, "What are you doing?"

"Give me one second," said Dean, opening the trunk, "it's just a little something special I got for you."

He pulled a brown paper bag out of the trunk, then walked back around the Impala to where Cas was still waiting for him.

Castiel tilted his head in curiosity when he saw the paper bag Dean was holding.

"What's this?" he asked, "What's in there?"

"It's to make this an official date, I guess. Here, take it."

Dean handed the paper bag to Cas, who reached out to take it. He then stuck a hand inside it and pulled out a fresh, juicy hamburger. His eyes immediately grew wide with surprise.

"You got me a hamburger?" he asked in wonder.

"Yeah," said Dean, "it's not exactly the restaurant I know you had in mind, but it's the next best thing. A human's gotta eat, right?"

"Thank you, Dean," said Cas, appreciation evident in his voice.

"Sure," said Dean, "no problem."

With that Castiel leaned over and gave Dean a quick, unexpected kiss on the cheek. Dean turned to him, cheeks slightly red.

"What was that for, now?"

"For being you," said Cas, "besides, isn't that something that people do on dates?"

"You're right, sort of," said Dean, "but I thought we agreed to no PDA."

Castiel frowned, clearly having no recollection of the parameters they had agreed on for this date beforehand. "So...you didn't like that?" he asked.

"No, that's not it. It's just that... well, we don't have to do any of that...you know, couple stuff, if you don't want to. And...well, like I said, I don't have that much experience with other guys."

"Then we can both learn something from this," mused Cas, before going in for a bite from his hamburger.

Dean's eyes strayed to Cas's lips for a second or two before resting on his blue eyes once again. He knew that normally he would've immediately avoided doing this if he had been in this situation with any other man. But with Castiel, it was different; and this time, Dean didn't mind the direction his thoughts were going in as much as he had before.

"Yeah," he agreed, "we have a lot to learn."


	6. 6 I'll Always Choose You

6. I'LL ALWAYS CHOOSE YOU  
Dean began to notice a change in Castiel's behavior. It wasn't immediately obvious; it was more like a gradual change over time. He became aloof, distancing himself from Sam and Dean whenever possible. Often he would give Dean sad, longing looks. Dean couldn't help but wonder what had gotten into the former angel.  
After about a week or so of this, Dean decided to finally confront Cas.

Dean walked into the room he usually shared with Sam, to find Castiel sitting on the very bed he slept in every night. Cas looked out the window wistfully, as if he was looking for something just out of his reach.  
Dean cleared his throat. "Um, hey there Cas, mind if I sit?" he asked.  
Castiel turned to him, trying to hide the emotion brimming in his eyes.  
"Dean," he said, "I've been thinking."  
Dean sat down on the bed, next to Castiel. "Oh yeah? You have? It's sure seemed that way for the past couple of days. What's on your mind?"  
"Since I've become a human I've discovered that I'm feeling this strange emotion towards you. It reminds me of being shot by one of Cupid's arrows...metaphorically, that is."  
At first Dean looked at him, confused. But suddenly, it was all too clear what Cas was trying to say.  
"I see now," said Dean, "you're in love with me, aren't you, Cas?"  
At this Castiel's blue eyes brightened and he gave a barely perceptible nod.  
Suddenly, bits and pieces of his recent bizarre actions made sense.  
Dean smiled. "Well, that's the best news I've heard in a long time."  
"I still don't fully understand the concept," admitted Castiel, "and I wasn't sure if you felt the same way about me, but I had to let you know."  
Dean sighed, noticing Castiel's encouraging look. It was almost as if Cas could already tell what he was going to say, before he even said it.  
"It took me awhile to be okay with it," said Dean, "but I was just about to tell you. Well, looks like you beat me to the punch line, for once. It's good to know."  
A blatant look of joy and understanding crossed Castiel's face. "Do you mean that you..."  
"Yeah. I love you, Cas. Sorry it took so long for me to say it."  
Castiel grinned and then, without warning, turned and threw his arms around Dean. This startled the hunter, but he soon reciprocated.  
They pulled away from each other after awhile, but Castiel let his hands rest possessively on Dean's shoulders. They looked at each other a bit shyly, as if they were meeting for the first time once again.  
"Does this mean I can show you some of the things I learned from the pizza man?" asked Castiel, eagerly. "I've wanted to show you how much I remember."  
Dean chuckled. "Sure, of course you can. I'm surprised you still remember that. You don't have to ask."  
Castiel leaned forward a bit hesitantly, until his face was pressed close to Dean's. Then, without warning, he gently put both his palms against Dean's cheeks and kissed him.  
Dean returned the kiss, noting with surprise that Castiel was actually a good kisser. This was drastically different from all the other times he'd hooked up with women in the past. To his surprise it didn't feel wrong at all, kissing someone of the same gender. Angels didn't even have genders, after all, though Cas was a human now.  
Dean had never considered what it would be like to kiss Castiel before. Although there was that one time when he and Sam had witnessed firsthand Castiel kissing Meg, and even then Dean had only slightly entertained the thought in the back of his mind of what it would be like if he was in Meg's place. Well, he mused while deepening the kiss, he knew what it was like now.  
"Um..." said a voice, uncertainly. Immediately, Dean and Cas broke apart and exchanged a sheepish glance when they saw Sam standing in the doorway.  
"I'm sorry; was I interrupting something?" Sam asked, gesturing between the two of them. He sounded just as embarrassed as they felt.  
"Look, Sam, I can explain," said Dean. "This isn't what it looks like."  
"Dean and I are in love," explained Castiel, pride unmistakable in his voice.  
"Oh," said Sam, "well, I'm happy for you and all, and, um, I'll just...leave you two alone now."  
With that Sam left the room, and in the next second a loud, triumphant "Yes!" could be heard from just outside the door.  
Castiel looked at Dean, clearly confused. "What was that about?" he asked.  
Dean smiled. "I think I know," he said. It was obvious that Sam had been anticipating this, and for some time now, too. "He must've been reading fanfiction again."  
Cas had clearly stopped even trying to understand Dean's references to pop culture. "He's very supportive of you," he observed.  
"No," corrected Dean, "it's not just me. He's supportive of us, Cas. You and me together, you know?"  
Castiel smiled as Dean reached out a hand and slipped it into his, as if to emphasize his point. He looked down at their joined hands in what seemed like wonder.  
They stayed like that for awhile, sitting together in silence while lost in their own thoughts.  
"Hey; promise me something, will you, Cas?" asked Dean, suddenly.  
Castiel nodded. "I'll do my best," he said.  
"Don't leave me, okay? Everyone always leaves..." Dean blinked, clearly trying to hold back tears. He could count on one finger the number of people who hadn't wound up leaving him for one reason or another. It was one of the many reasons why he had been hesitant to admit his feelings for Cas in the first place.  
"Dean," said Castiel, "I'm not going anywhere this time; I'm happy right where I am. And even if I do go, I'll always choose you."  
Dean smiled, comforted by the former angel's words. "Good," he said, "'cause...you want to hear my choice?"  
Castiel didn't need to hear what Dean's choice was; he already knew. Still, he nodded enthusiastically. Unspoken confirmation was one thing, but spoken confirmation was another thing entirely.  
"It's you, and no one else."  
Cas smiled, practically glowing with happiness. "Thank you, Dean," he said, "for everything."  
In answer, Dean gripped Castiel's hand just a bit harder for a moment. "I hope you don't regret this, whatever...this...is," he said.  
"No," said Castiel, his voice steady with confidence, "I regret everything I've ever done to harm you, but I don't regret this. Dean, I...I love you."  
"I know," said Dean. He smiled, thinking of Charlie and how only she would understand the little inside joke.  
Castiel tilted his head, as if asking a silent question, but still smiled back at his hunter and leaned his head against his shoulder, as Dean wrapped an arm around him in a comforting half-embrace.  
There was nothing standing in their way now; there was nothing to prevent them from being together in every sense of the word. They both knew that the nature of their relationship hadn't changed with their feelings for each other, not really. They would get through whatever was to come next just as they always had. There would be, as Castiel had once said to Dean, just more of the same. And for the first time in a long time, they could both be happy.


End file.
